You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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