some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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