I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You are a genius and a whore.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
