if you like me you must not know who I am
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
