I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
