we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
What a dumb baby whore.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
