yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I skipped work to stalk him.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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