This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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