i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
