she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
