THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
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