We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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