Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
