I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
