yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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