fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
