Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
