i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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