areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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