just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i think i have herpe
just one?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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