ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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