They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
