So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
