so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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