? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
