This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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