ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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