It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
