I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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