Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
