So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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