is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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