you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
