Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
