wat bout pragnant strippers??
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
