We're facebook friends in real life
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
