At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
