so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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