Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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