people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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