this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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