we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
