Are we in a gay sports bar?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
