But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
