You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
