I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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