You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
