He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
