I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
