she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
