I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I know her cup size but not her name....
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
