She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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