Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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