How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
