I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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