I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
