32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.