I just pynch a tree in the face
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
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Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂