I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?