3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.