Me too!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
