Texts From Last Night

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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.

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  (417): Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls. http://tfl.nu/0cx7
  Replies (12) Good night (3388) Bad night (840)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.

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  (616): And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard. http://tfl.nu/ztg2
  Replies (18) Good night (1306) Bad night (3408)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.

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  (812): Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up. http://tfl.nu/ner1
  Replies (17) Good night (929) Bad night (3188)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.

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  (765): Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick. http://tfl.nu/t3m9
  Replies (8) Good night (1449) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge

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  (217): I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge http://tfl.nu/q5gb
  Replies (17) Good night (3637) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope

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  (678): I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope http://tfl.nu/y4eb
  Replies (3) Good night (1665) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.

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  (662): We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower. http://tfl.nu/o5pz
  Replies (10) Good night (2278) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.

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  (248): All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude. http://tfl.nu/8z2h
  Replies (8) Good night (2254) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?

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  (505): Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it? http://tfl.nu/czl6
  Replies (2) Good night (384) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.

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  (801): Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment. http://tfl.nu/y6m4
  Replies (16) Good night (992) Bad night (1655)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"

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  (651): Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter" http://tfl.nu/1bxc
  Replies (0) Good night (561) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties

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  (605): I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties http://tfl.nu/3zmr
  Replies (4) Good night (823) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.

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  (412): i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass. http://tfl.nu/godv
  Replies (7) Good night (1015) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.

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  (608): Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver. http://tfl.nu/0dvj
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...

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  (609): The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady... http://tfl.nu/kywa
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (200)

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