She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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