The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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