I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
