Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
