i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
