none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
