What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Damn victory sex feels great
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
