Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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