I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
