your parents love me but you hate me
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
