I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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