dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
